what you don't know doesn't hurt you

fuck this. I'm taking down my mirrors.

freefall with me

I feel dizzy every time I stand up.



I don't want sympathy or help. I want someone whose hand to hold while we jump.

wishlist

I want to climb onto roofs and breathe the fear of falling. I want to know what flying feels like.

I want the branches of dead trees crawling up my arms, covering all my old scars and exposing all the new ones. I want words that would be lost in the wind if they didn't cling to the trees with all they are.

I want to walk into the lake and disappear under the surface, hold my breath for as long as I can. I want to know if being that close to drowning will make breathing seem like the better option again.

I want someone to make the effort when I'm too tired of trying myself.

I want blood.

I want everything.

new cross is blossoming

I miss being excited about seeing the world like this.

melt your headaches

call it home.

I am the most selfish person I know

I haven't loved or wanted to love since 2006.


I want to disappear in the sunshine and dissolve into the wind. I want my sweetest breath to be my last.


Some days I pick up the phone only to realise there's no one I really want to call.


I look at myself smiling and laughing at other people's smiles and words and it disgusts me how deceitful I can be.


I never stick to the things I decide because there's no one to tell me I should.


I'm a passer by in my own life.


Maybe I could be happy if I learned how to forget about myself.

it's been a while

I got rejected by the only school I wanted to get in to.



I haven't written a single melody for four months.



I can't afford to buy food.



I realised I wasn't in love with the only person who's ever loved me.



I've lost contact with most of my friends.



Life is grand.